AA Gifts & Baskets Idea Blog

Archive for June, 2007

 When I was in the fifth grade, the school nurse set aside a special time when she pulled all the girls out of the class. Sequestered in a room without any males (apparently their presence would be detrimental to us females for the next 45 minutes), the school nurse proceeded to show us a video that explained the basics of the female reproductive system. The next week, the boys were given their own video session.

 Too bad half the girls already had started their periods and half the guys were able to demonstrate via jokes a working understanding of what guys were supposed to "do" with girls.
Schools have been teaching sex education in late elementary school for years. The problem is, that just doesn't cut it anymore-kids are reaching sexual maturity at an earlier and earlier age, and as parents, we need to have a concept of what is affecting the development of our children so that we can be prepared.

First, genetics has some influence over when a child matures. If you're a woman who was a late bloomer, odds are you'll have daughters who are, too. The same goes for men-if your voice didn't drop fully until you were 17, don't be too anxious if your son is still able to sing alto in choir his freshman year in high school.

Secondly, nutrition plays a role in development in that a child's body cannot mature sexually if it doesn't have enough vitamins, minerals, or caloric intake. Girls who don't eat enough for one reason or another, for example, have been shown to start menses later than girls whose diets are nutritionally sound.
The third factor that affects sexual maturation is weight. Sexual maturation is tied to the body fat ratio (the ratio of body fat to lean muscle tissue)-the body needs fat to carry out the sexual maturation process because energy is used by the body to make reproductive tissues and organs grow. Once a person's body fat ratio is high enough, their body is able to develop the reproductive organs, regardless of whether or not the person is of "reproductive" age. For this reason, children who are overweight are more likely to develop faster than their thinner counterparts. Thus, it is little wonder that, in a generation experiencing what has been called an "obesity epidemic," earlier sexual maturity is on the rise.

All this being said, it's important to point out that every child is different. There is no surefire way to pinpoint when your child will need "the talk." Even so, it's best to play it safe and be early instead of late with information. If your 8 year old can figure out how to reach the highest cabinet in the house when you have your back turned, chances are they'll be able to grasp the puzzle pieces concept with men and women and how that all works, too. Sure, they might be a bit grossed out at first, but I, for one, would much rather have my kid grossed out than freaked out.

I stalk my neighbor. I lurk in my own doorway, hoping the tree out front hides me from view. I wait and watch, ready to pounce at any opportunity. Then as soon as she steps outside, I'm on her.

It's her fault, really. She's the one who turned me into this. I wasn't a walking creepshow before I knew her. I was reasonable, level-headed-at least as normal as any other mother shut inside for hours at a time with young children.

 It started when she and her husband-his fault, too, no doubt, enough blame to go around-were so darn nice to my kids. My kids learned early to prefer them to me, since they had no kids of their own yet and hadn't fully developed a forceful 'no.' My kids hung out with them, across the street, gardening, chatting, getting generally played with without anybody coming down on them. It was a little heaven for them over there, and for our part on this side, we were thrilled to have them in it.

But my kids weren't the only beneficiaries. I loved, and still love, talking with her, too. She and her husband-yep, still his fault as well-are fun and easy and understanding. No matter how bad my day stuck in with the kids was, I could get a moment's peace just chatting across the road. That, no doubt, was one of the things that kept me sane. Knowing my neighbor was there was every day's little gift, a present of presence to put a pun on it.

Now my neighbor has her own baby-a baby so irresistible I swear he could stop wars. Just pass that baby around the Pentagon and hearts would turn, I know it. Now my neighbor is stuck in a little more often and feeling the strain of developing that forceful 'no.' Now her life is a little busier, even crazier, and I have a chance at payback.

So I stalk her. I look for every chance to get my hands on that baby. She's carrying in the groceries? Oh my, I can take baby! Running out to the gym? Leave baby with me, it's no problem. I try to lure her out a little, maybe with a neighborhood moms breakfast, maybe to share a glass of wine on the step in the evening. I share my stories of the mommy wars, and how many times every day I say 'no' compared to how many times every day I say 'no' and it sticks.

Most of all, I listen, just like she used to listen to me. Some of the themes are familiar, some are new, but I wouldn't miss a minute of it. I can't hope to mean as much to her, but I can try to mean something, to be a little token of appreciation at least even if I can't be the giant gift she was to me. So I have to go now, I think I hear her door opening...

Fortunately for me, my parents were both educators and artistic. My father was a drama director, and my mother was a math teacher. Reading was a favorite pastime in our home, and our TV time was limited to PBS and educational programming. We played board games and card games regularly. I spent equal time on the Atari video games as I did with educational electronics of the day such as "Speak & Spell" and "Merlin." Our board games consisted of "Master Mind" (code-breaking), "Othello" (strategy & planning), and the timeless games of chess and checkers.

Now, as a parent of three young daughters, I strive to provide them with a home environment that encourages problem-solving, literacy and free-thinking. My girls just passed standardized tests with flying colors, being placed in the public school as "gifted" children. Whether or not you subscribe to nature or nurture as the source of our intelligence and personality, there is significant influence from the atmosphere you provide for your child as he/she develops.

The following list of suggestions can prove as learning tools no matter what your budget or your family dynamic:

1. Surround your youngster with books. A child who reads is a child who thinks. It is proven that reading increases skills in spelling, writing, vocabulary and verbal communication. It also opens their minds to new ideas and nurtures the imagination far more than movies or television. Reading to your child also provides a quality time unrivaled by most other activities. A public library card can be a treasured gift for a child to learn to make their own choices for entertainment.
2. Turn off the television. While there are several choices for children's programming with cable and satellite dishes, the studies are overwhelming to show decreased brain activity when a human being is in front of the "idiot tube."
3. Play games. A good board game can involve family and friends. They are an inexpensive source of entertainment and learning that encourage strategy, social skills and healthy competition.
4. Go on outings to provide new experiences. Search the internet for one-tank trips to museums, art galleries, community concerts, arts & crafts expositions, nature walks, camping excursions, sporting events and dance recitals. Many free activities for the family can be found in local papers, web sites, and the bulletin boards at the public libraries.
5. Set an example of learning. Do your recreational reading in front of your child. Practice your instrument with him in the room. Practice your fitness routine and invite your daughter to join. Share your experiences when you return from a night at the theatre. Let your child know that all learning experiences are accessible and encouraged.
6. Get involved in your child's school. Take time to learn what they are learning. Research a paper with them. Enforce a topic from school with a special book, meal, song, discussion or craft. Your excitement about your child's school work can be contagious.
7. Be the educator over summer break. If your child attends a traditional school year, you have three months to provide alternative learning encounters. This is the time when you can add a personal touch to involve your children in your hobbies and interests, and you can watch them make decisions and pursue what interests them.

As human beings, we naturally grow and learn and develop. But, the love of learning must be acquired. A passion for wanting to know more and wanting to be more is learned from those in our lives who care for us and show us the benefits of stretching our minds, honing our skills, and letting our talents shine.