AA Gifts & Baskets Idea Blog

Archive for March, 2008

You never met her or her friends. She made a confession over the phone. They thought you were the dreamy-est thing they’d ever seen. That was exactly how she said it. It was sweet - school-girl sweet, and sincere. They had a photograph - that was all.

What they didn’t know was just how much it meant. How could they?

Like a character in a Springsteen song you’d been down one too many brutal roads and had begun to wonder if there was ever going to be moment where the proverbial light of the next day shone through to illuminate a better time; a better place.

You knew a man who had been out of work for a year. He had a computer file with the places he’d sent his resume.

One thousand and seven, he said, half mystified by the number, half in awe of the reality of it.

You went on interview after interview. They gave you tests. Your favorite was the typing test that asked you to copy as fast as you could a report that said the job market was fraught with uncertainty. It was like the sign on the door to a building that said: please use other door… it made you wonder just what were people thinking, and if they were thinking anything at all.

You were sitting in a bar, with a friend. It was late and a slow evening on a brutally humid day in the middle of a long hot, weary summer. The bartender said he was bored. He pulled out a personalized deck of cards. High card draw wins a free drink, he said. In the background, a television, with the sound turned off, was showing highlights of the day’s baseball games.

Your friend smiled. You said: I never win things like this.

You asked him what happens if you loose.

Nothing, he said, and he smiled.

You looked at the cards splayed out in front of you and you reached for one, stopped, thought better of it, and you chose another.

Your friend went to choose next and, looking at your card, you said: don’t bother, I won.

You were getting dressed to meet someone. You had told them you had a story to share. You put on a clean shirt and felt something in the shirt’s pocket. You smiled as you pulled out two dollars.

You sat together at the table in front of the restaurant. It was late and warm. The sound of cars coming and going in the parking lot just beyond the tables made an echoing hum on the cement.

It became later than it had been and you sat talking about this and that. A man stopped by to ask for money.

I’m trying to get to

Bowie Maryland, he said. You smiled, handed him the two dollars and while he walked away, your friend said you were being foolish. You laughed until you remembered he was the same man who had said the same thing a month before. Well, you said, it’s still funny, the way the luck changes and that’s his karma, not mine.Then there was the phone call. Dreamy, she said. And there was no way she could have known how much that moment of honesty - that gift of honesty - meant.

Moms tend to think about everyone but themselves, which is great for everyone around them but it can take a toll on even the most devoted mom. In order to keep your sanity it is important that moms take time out to relax and regroup.

I know it is easier said then done, there is always one more diaper to change, one more meal to cook or one more load of laundry to do. So what can you do to take time out for yourself and when are you supposed to do it? Here are a few ideas to help get your mommy time out started.

Ask your husband, a friend or a family member to watch the kids for a while. In just a few hours you could go see that movie you have been dying to see, minus screaming babies and frequent trips to the bathroom to avoid bothering other people. In just two hours you can get your hair done, a manicure and a pedicure. Give yourself a spa gift. Imagine how relaxing just two hours of alone time would be.

Chances are you won’t be able to get someone to take the kids everyday for a few hours but it’s still important to take a mini time out everyday. By doing this you will spare the children from unwarranted outburst and yourself from slipping into depression.

• Leave the dishes, the laundry and the spill in the kitchen for just thirty minutes, maybe while the baby is napping or while the kids are watching a cartoon. Just taking thirty minutes to relax or work on a hobby will alleviate some of the days stress.
• Wake up and hour early or go to bed an hour late, the kids will be sleeping and you can spend sometime getting ready in the morning or watching TV.
• Exercise regularly can be a great way to get you going and keep you in shape for keeping up with your kids.
• Eat right, veggies and organic fruit will charge your immune system, the last thing you need is a sick mommy.
• Remind yourself that you can’t control everything. Don’t spend your mommy time out worrying about what is going on at the house, your husband is perfectly capable of handling the kids alone for two hours.
• Start a baby swap, a baby swap is when two or more moms agree to take each others children for a few hours to give the other some free time on a weekly or monthly basis.
• Share the load. Sit down with your family and divide the chores. By sharing the load you can make more time for everyone and by giving
• When hit overload just taking a few minutes to sit and think about the positive things in your life can make you feel better.

You don’t need to be busy every minute of the day. Stay home with your family. Don’t make a commitment unless it is important to you. Get in the habit of saying no to things you don’t want to, or don’t have time to do and don’t feel guilty about it.

While motherhood is a very rewarding experience and totally worth the sacrifice it can be stressful and with all that you do for your family it’s hard to think about yourself, but very important. By taking care of yourself, you also teach your children the importance of taking care of their own mental and physical health. Look at the time spent on yourself as an investment to make you a better, happier mom for your husband and your children.

Now that you’re parents, another human being will be dependent on you for all of his or her needs for at least the next eighteen years.

Hugs and kisses are free, but other things such as food, clothing, housing, medical care, and education cost money-lots of it. To raise one child from birth to age eighteen will cost an average of nearly $100,000. That figure covers just the basic necessities through high school, but many parents today want more for their children.

At age five, when most children begin school, the costs of child rearing begin to escalate. About forty percent of the total expense of raising a child occurs between the ages of twelve and seventeen, which is good news for early planners who will benefit by beginning a savings program when their children are preschoolers.

Now is the time to arm yourself with information about how to prepare for your family’s future and to begin the steps to turn your plans into reality.

Begin by determining your financial condition. Before you can plan intelligently for your child’s future, it’s necessary to have a firm grasp of your present financial situation. It’s impossible to plan for the future if you don’t know what’s going on now.

Figuring out your net worth can be a very revealing exercise. Draw a line down the center of a piece of paper. Label assets on the left side and list them; include cash in checking and savings accounts, equity in owner-occupied real estate, bonds, stocks, cars and investment real estate.

Under liabilities on the right side, list mortgages outstanding, installment loans for cars, appliances or furniture, revolving credit card balances for department stores, and professional services such as medical and dental. Include past due accounts and charity donations.

Then add up each column. If you subtract your liabilities from your assets, you’ll have your net worth. Don’t worry if your figures aren’t precise, just the fact that you’re sitting down with pen, paper, and calculator makes it all the more likely that you’ll take firm action when planning your child’s financial future.

Making a simple monthly budget to determine how you are spending your income can be another eye-opener. By listing your income and your spending, you can highlight the areas where changes can be made. For example, you may be surprised to find out how much you spend on long distance phone calls or how often you eat out. Seeing those figures in black and white may spur you to reduce your expenditures, and channel the money to your savings account instead.

Miles and miles of land separate my mother and me. The long-distance phone calls and emails cannot compare to being able to see her whenever I please. So when it comes time to ship off a gift, I want her to feel as if I am standing in front of her, delivering it myself.

As the month of June neared, I prepared for one of my most intense gift-giving times of the year. Besides Father’s Day, the month brought both of my parent’s birthdays, as well as their anniversary. By the middle of the month, I would have satisfied 3 out of 4 big dates on the calendar, leaving my mother's birthday to focus on. This year, I tried to think of gifts she would not only use, but also find comfort, delight and relaxation. She recently quit smoking and I wanted to keep her on track and make sure she was surrounded by welcomed distractions.

My mother always starts her day with a cup of coffee and by night, falls asleep beside another. I went to the gourmet food  gifts section of one of my favorite stores and began to browse the coffee aisle. There were many tempting flavors to choose from, including Raspberry to Chocolate Mint, as I relentlessly read all of the bags. In the back of the bunch, one particular item rewarded me for my uncompromising focus.

If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again- sometimes the perfect gift finds me even when I least expect it. The day after Mother’s Day, my mother and I were having a conversation about her visit with my grandmother. She brought over her usual gift, accompanied by coffee and biscuits. By the end of her visit, she said she left with a delicious taste upon her lips, as they had sipped several shots of Kahlua. I know the doctor mentioned that alcohol may provide comfort for my grandmother’s arthritis, but for me, it was hard to swallow that my Nana and mother were sitting in her living room, consuming alcoholic beverages on Mother’s Day. I’ve never seen either one of them drink in my life.

So when I pulled the Kahlua-flavored coffee from behind all of the other interesting flavors, I felt I had struck gold. It was the last and only bag of its kind. I wasn’t looking for that particular flavor; didn’t even know it existed, but the warmth and happiness that overcame me at that moment was overwhelming. I couldn’t wait until she opened her gift.

On her birthday, I called early because she always waits for me before opening gifts. I could hear the tear of the box and crinkling of the wrapping paper. She was quite pleased with what she found inside. The gift brought her back to the Mother’s Day Kahlua, which then turned into a flood of teenage and college memories I had no idea existed. Although, I was miles and miles away, the coffee talk made me feel much closer, providing me with much-needed satisfaction and comfort.

I may not watch every quarterback pass or care whether or not "so-in-so" got traded to the Knicks, but I am definitely a team player when it comes to giving gifts. Last year, my husband’s sports teams were doing exceptionally well, especially his favorite NFL team. Being a team player doesn’t mean I have to glue myself to the television set whenever his team takes to the field. It’s the little things I do that lets him know I am listening and care about his interests.

As the first blanket of snow covered the ground, we were well into the football season, which wasn’t my favorite time of the year. Not only do I despise the icy cold weather and snowstorms, but I also dread when Sunday afternoon and Monday night rolls around. My husband sits uninterrupted for about 3 hours in front of the television for something he waits the entire week for. Out of all the sports he watches, I find football the most difficult to get into. With basketball, at least you can anticipate a dunk or an almost-impossible shot from a character you have seen on a Sprite commercial. With football, you wait for a touchdown or a fumble from a player you rarely get to identify with except for the number on his back. It just doesn’t do it for me.

Week after week, I listened to how his favorite football team pulled through another game, until I eventually found myself watching all of the Playoffs. I must admit the energy and excitement of following a team playing for a chance to go to the championship was something quite unexpected. I was actually getting into the game, learning specific plays and scrutinizing the drag of the yardage chain. It was like watching a sports soap opera, complete with drama: the referees started cheating the team I was rooting for.

At the end of the game, through many emotional ups and downs I didn’t know I could feel for a football game, our team was victorious. That year, the Super Bowl was being held less than 2 hours away from where we lived. Tickets were near impossible to get a hold of. As we watched the news regarding parades and events surrounding the Super Bowl, my husband would not be able to attend. I wanted him to have something that would connect him to the game when he watched it on the big screen.

I knew I would be able to find something on the Internet, so I scanned the impressive list of football items on EBay until something caught my eye. The bright gold and black colors lassoed my attention, as I promptly purchased the Myron Cope’s Official Terrible Towel, a must-have for any Pittsburgh Steelers fan. I knew it was a perfect gift for a man. On the day of the Super Bowl, I presented him with the gift. He was ecstatic. During the game, he safety-pinned it around his head (looking ridiculous), but I guess this is what diehard fans do. As I scanned the crowd at the game, I saw much worse.

That night, the Steelers became the champions of the 2005 football season, but that didn’t compare to the winning feeling I had from giving my husband a piece of the game to remember.

An important component of planning for your child’s future is having something definite to reach for. Setting goals gives your planning form and shape. Rank your goals by priority. A college education for your child? Ballet lessons? Braces? A two week vacation every year?

How are you going to pay for what you need and want? Since saving money under the mattress probably won’t help you to achieve your goals, most people look for a way their money will grow-that means investing.

Simply put, investing means committing money with the expectation of a profit. All the planning you’ve done up till now will determine the kinds of investments you choose. Successful investors will analyze their own situations in terms of income, monthly cash requirements, and net worth over the years. They will also determine how much risk they can live with comfortably. If you want liquidity and safety, stick with money market funds, insured certificates of deposit, U.S. Treasury bills and bonds, fixed annuities, and equity in your home.

High quality stocks, high grade corporate and municipal bonds, and investment real estate traditionally provide income and/or long-term growth. High risk investments include options, futures, tax investments, and undeveloped land.

Because there are so many investment choices available, it’s important to educate yourself on which ones are best suited for your situation. Resources for self-education include seminars and classes offered through adult education programs at local high schools and junior colleges, YMCAs, and public libraries. Newspaper and magazine articles probably provide the most timely written information on investments. It’s imperative to educate yourself, because no one will look after your family’s interests as well as you will.

Unless you have a large income [over $100,000] and a complicated tax situation, you probably don’t need to hire a financial planner. If you decide you do need a financial planner, be wary of know it all types. No one person can be an expert in all aspects of investing and estate planning. Use the same caution you employed when choosing your doctor and attorney.

If you do decide to invest, commercial banks, brokerage firms, and savings and loans will be competing for your business. Since deregulation, U.S. banks and thrift institutions [noncommercial banks, savings and loans, and mutual savings banks] have expanded their lending and investment opportunities to become more competitive with brokerage firms, which traditionally have offered a wide variety of financial services.

Since saving for their children’s college education is a common goal of many parents, investment programs specifically geared to that end are springing up everywhere. There's nothing like money for college as the ultimate high school graduation gift. Some institutions will send you a computerized education savings analysis based on information you give them. The analysis is usually free, but of course the bank is hoping you will use their service.

A typical analysis will look at your child’s age, number of years before his college education begins the percentage of college costs that you will pay, your estimated taxable income and its probable rate of growth, and other factors. This information is the basis for the institution’s analysis of how much money you will need and when you will need it.

A certificate of deposit [CD] is one investment vehicle available. A CD is a time deposit that cannot be withdrawn without penalty before a specified maturity date. The minimum deposit for seven to thirty-one day accounts is $1,000. The law requires no minimum deposit in accounts with maturities of more than thirty-one days, but individual banks may have their own minimum deposit requirements.

Other financial instruments you may encounter include:

• Bonds. A fixed income security that represents a loan to the bond issuer. The bondholder usually receives semi-annual interest payments. Corporate bonds are issued by private companies; municipal bonds are backed by specific revenues and are exempt from federal income taxes.
• Money Market Deposit Accounts. These enable banks and thrift institutions to compete with money market mutual funds. These interest-bearing accounts are insured and offer limited transaction privileges, such as check writing.
• Mutual Funds. Pooled investments that are professionally managed. A money market fund is a mutual fund that typically invests in short-term securities, such as treasury bills. Mutual funds are not insured.
• Stocks. Ownership interest in a corporation, entitling the stockholder to voting rights and a part of the corporation’s earnings [dividends].
• Treasury Securities. The U.S, Treasury issues bills, bonds, and notes. Each is sold at a discounted face amount and cashed in for a full face value at maturity. Lengths of maturity vary.
• Zero-Coupon Bonds. These corporate or government issued bonds are sold at deep discounts from face value and pay no interest until maturity [hence their name]. Zeros have become popular for college investing because the maturities can be staggered, so that some will mature during each of the years you’ll have children in college.