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When you know someone who has recently lost a loved one, you want to send a sympathy card. But often, the task becomes monumental because you don’t know what to write or how to approach the subject. Here are some ideas to get you started so you can get your card in the mail right away.

Be direct and sympathetic. Don’t try to cover up the reason why you’re writing. It will only make the recipient feel worse. Start off with how you found out about the sad news.

“I just found out from my mom this afternoon that Derek passed away,” is appropriate.

Next, mention how sad you are about the death. Trying to hide your feelings to make the recipient feel less sad isn’t going to work. Say something like:

“I am shocked, as I am sure we all are, that his passing was so sudden.”

You’ll want to offer something nice about the deceased or mention one thing that really was unique or special about them. You could say,

“Derek was such a great dad to the boys. I remember seeing him at every Little League game even if it was raining.”

Offer to help if you can. Don’t make any outlandish promises that you can’t keep. You might try something like:

“When you are feeling up to it, I’d like to take you out for coffee. Please call me any time. I am always available to you.”

Make sure you mean what you say. Don’t offer to make a future date and then not keep your word. If you have no time to meet with the bereaved in the next few weeks, omit any mention of a meeting. If you do intend to meet with your friend, be sure to write a date on your calendar when you will follow up with her. Chances are she’ll be too grief-stricken to want to reach out and set a date.

The final part of your note could be a scripture verse or a favorite inspirational quote. Search online for appropriate sympathy quotes if none immediately come to mind. Be sure you put the source in case the recipient wants to look it up (say in the Bible).

Lastly, end with a heartfelt word such as, “Thinking of you in your time of grief.” Be sincere and don’t try to be overly flowery. Saying, “You are in my prayers” is far better than trying to skirt around the issue of the death and getting long winded. Make it short but sympathetic.

Other ways you can close your letter include:

“You are in our hearts in this time of deep sorrow.”

“Praying that your good memories will be a comfort to you at this tragic time.”

“Sharing in your grief,”

“May you find the peace of Jesus in your time of great sorrow.”

Anything is appropriate if it is heartfelt. Don’t feel you have to say you’re praying for someone if you’ve never said a prayer in your life. And don’t feel you have to make reference to religion or spirituality at all if it makes you uncomfortable.

Always sign your full first and last name. Your card may get separated from the envelope and you may leave the bereaved wondering if the card was from Susan at work or Susan her cousin from New Jersey.

When someone is retiring, they are starting off on the rest of their lives. Most people don’t retire and sit home, so you want to kick off their new future with a festive party. If you’re planning the party, you’ll want to make it memorable, fun, and lively. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Think about the venue. Where will you hold it? Will it be at a restaurant? A dinner cruise? A country club? Someone’s home? Decide first where you will host the party and then you can get down to specifics. Don’t discount having it outdoors in a backyard. You can make that very elegant and creative as long as you have arrangements in case of rain (like a big tent).

Next, decide how many people you will invite. Is it going to be everyone from the office? Hundreds of friends and relatives? Or just the immediate family? Once you have set the number of people, you can determine exactly how fancy you can afford to get.

The party can come from you or you might ask a whole group of people to chip in. Officemates and siblings will often want to chip in even before they are asked. So take everyone up on their offers. Just be sure everyone who contributed gets the recognition for hosting the party.

Send out invitations as far in advance as possible. Most retirements are not surprises, so you’ll have plenty of time to get things planned. Set a date that works for the retiree when he’s not traveling or out of town celebrating. It’s ok to ask him or her for a few dates they may be available. If you’re inviting one hundred people, you want to make sure the date works before you announce it.

Go with a theme. Is the retiree an avid golfer? A seamstress? A pilot? Determine your decorations by the person’s likes and hobbies. You can build an adorable party around just about any hobby. Include the theme as part of the invitations, table toppers, favors, and entertainment. Foods can also be created, especially the cake, around a particular theme.

Get creative with the actual party. Do you want a seated dinner or a low-key help-yourself barbecue? Either can be fun. Or do you want a catered buffet where everyone is free to get up and mingle and dance. You can get as fancy as a wedding type party or as uncomplicated as burgers and dogs by the pool. You decide what you’re comfortable hosting.

When it comes to gifts, you don’t have to say anything at all. You aren’t required to write “Please, no gifts” or anything like that on an invitation for a retirement party. You’re not throwing it for yourself, so it’s appropriate that guests bring retirement gifts if they choose to. Just don’t request them of anyone.

Decide if it will be a day or a night time party. If it will be in the evening and outdoors, you can have faux flameless candles lining walkways and decks to make a nice atmosphere that  lights up the night. You will want to be sure you indicate if children are welcome especially if the party will go into the night. People need time to arrange for babysitters.

There are many reasons you would want to congratulate someone. When the time comes, will you have the right words? Here are some ideas on the type of sentiments you can write in a congratulations card:

Graduation

Way to go, graduate!

Set sail for the rest of your life.

Welcome to your new life!

We knew you’d excel. You always do.

Today is reserved for the brightest stars. And you certainly shine!

No one else could have done it as well as you did.

You did it!

Nice going! We knew you’d succeed.

We’re so proud of you.

Here’s to a future as bright as you are.

There’s no stopping someone as bright as you.

You’re a rising star!

May all your dreams come true as you head for your future.

All roads lead to success when you’re involved.

New Baby

Babies are such a wonderful gift from God.

Enjoy your little bundle of joy.

Congratulations on the newest member of your family.

What babies take away in sleep, they make up for in loveliness.

To the new mom and dad—may every day be as delightful as this one.

Cherish each day of this precious little one’s new life.

Engagement

All the best to you as you embark on your new life.

Love brought you together. And we’re so glad.

It couldn’t happen to two more wonderful people.

Here’s to a life of joy and laughter.

May you find joy, happiness, and a good wedding planner.

The road to happiness starts with this exciting beginning.

Wedding

As you head for your new future, may you take our love with you.

To Mr. and Mrs. Wonderful…We wish you all the best.

Life starts anew today. Happy new life.

Drink a toast to the happiness that lies ahead.

Today is the first day of the rest of your lives.

The best marriages are between best friends.

Two became one today.

Always search for a reason to celebrate each other.

New Home

Here’s hoping your new home is filled with joy and peace.

We’ll miss you in the neighborhood, but we’re so happy you’ve found a new one you love.

Enjoy many happy days in your new place.

Home is where the heart is.

May you enjoy years of good times in your new home.

Big Anniversary

40 years of marriage is a reason to celebrate!

You made it! 60 years and many, many more!

Marriages like yours are examples to all of us.

You are both shining lights in our lives. We love you.

Congratulations on 50 years of wedded bliss.

You stuck it out! Happy 60^th Anniversary.

May you have 40 more wonderful years ahead of you.

To the couple that we all admire.

If you find yourself stumped for exactly the right words, just go with your honest feelings. No one expects you to be a published poet. Just write a sentiment that sounds the way you might talk if you were face to face with the person. Make your card lovely and personal. If you’re making your congratulations card yourself, include a photo of the person when they were younger for a walk down memory lane. If it’s a new graduate, tuck a few dollars inside the envelope to send them on their way.

Little girls are so sweet. When your little lady’s birthday comes along, what can you give her that she will really ooh and ahh over? If you’re an auntie or uncle that wants to really gift her with something special, take the time to find out what young ladies like these days.  What you end up buying will depend on her personal likes and her style. But most little girls will like at least some of the following ideas.

High Tech Barbie

Believe it or not, Barbie is now a video camera. There is now a regular sized Barbie --with her impossibly small waist and high-heeled feet -- that is actually a working video camera. It’s kind of fun to imagine a little one spying on her little brothers with her undercover Barbie. If she is a Barbie fan, you simply must add this to her collection.

Hello Kitty

Hello Kitty, the adorable little cat character, has just turned 25. You probably remember Kitty from the first time around. She’s made a big comeback and little girls are falling in love with her for the first time. Kitty accessories come in the form of CD players, walkie talkies that text, mp3 players, shoes, socks, boots, you name it. You can find Hello Kitty’s charming little white face on just about every item merchandisers can stock on their shelves. Get her a whole Hello Kitty outfit or just one plush Hello Kitty doll. Of course, you’ll want to wrap her gift in Hello Kitty wrapping paper and tie a Hello Kitty balloon to the package.

Tea Party Accessories

Little girls are still at that age where they like to play pretend. Today’s tea sets are colorful and still engage the imagination even in today’s high tech world. Buy your little one a tea set and then offer to have tea with her and her stuffed dolls. She’ll love playing dress up with you. You can give her some costume jewelry you no longer use, a pair of gloves, an old evening bag, and she’ll be the best dressed hostess. Other ideas along these lines are gifting your young chef with a play kitchen complete with pretend food. There are sushi sets made entirely of plastic, baked goods, pasta, and more. Play food has gotten so realistic it’s hard to tell it from the real thing.

Little girls are all different. So if you have a tom boy on your list, don’t be afraid to ask her mom and dad what she’d really like. It may be the new Razor scooter or a new catcher’s mitt. No matter what she is into, you can find a really cool gift to wrap up and surprise her.

You might also gift a little one with your time. Take her out for ice cream with all the toppings or a day at the zoo with whatever she wants (within reason) from the gift shop. These types of experiences will last in her memory well after Barbie loses an arm or Hello Kitty’s bow falls off. Make it special by suggesting someplace your little darling has never been. Treat her to a grown up lunch and you’ll be on her “best birthday gift giver ever” list for sure.

Many times you want to offer a gift to someone who is ill. But you don’t want to show up with a basket of fruit or perishable foods. The recipient may not have an appetite and the food would be wasted. Or perhaps you’d just rather not send food because you have to ship it across country. Whatever the reason you’d like to, you can make or purchase a gift basket as a get well present that does not include any food.

Once you start your search for a get well gift basket, you will find that most come loaded with food. That’s not a bad thing, and most of the foods are gourmet, fresh, and delicious. But if you want to avoid sending food, it can be hard to find anything appropriate. One thing you can do is change your concept of the gift basket. We tend to think of a gift basket as one overflowing with upscale products or fresh-baked cookies and luscious fruits. But what if a gift basket were a total departure from the usual?

Depending on the situation and the severity of the illness, you will need to use your judgment as to what to send. But here are some ideas to get you started:

• A Book Gift Basket: For a person who has broken their leg or has a non-life threatening illness, you can fill a basket with lots of fun reading material to help pass the time. Include books you know they will like such as light romances or comic books. You can include the latest issues of magazines as well.
• The Puzzle Basket: For the person who’s up to some brain-twisting fun, send a basket that includes Sudoku and crossword puzzle books. Include a good pen and some sharpened pencils, too.
• The Pick Me Up Basket: For someone who is going through chemotherapy, you can put together a spa gift basket filled with beautifying spa products. Chemotherapy can cause a person’s hair to fall out, so provide her with some products that will pamper herself. Include powders, shower gels, and even a lipstick. Write a nice note that tells her how beautiful a person she is. Your gift will be perfect.
• The Child’s Gift Basket: If you know a sick child, ask her parents what she really loves and then go find it and create a Get Well Basket for Kids. Make it a sort of a wish basket. Put in things that she has been wishing for like those popular rubber band bracelets or another hard to find, but inexpensive, child’s toy. She will love that you thought enough to find exactly what she wanted. A sick child will also love soft stuffed animals and a fleece blanket in a pretty color. Think comfort. Anything that can reassure a child in the hospital that she is loved will be most welcomed. Her parents are the best guides as to what would make her really smile.

When you need to send a gift basket that conveys a get well message, appropriately consider how sick the person is. It’s not appropriate to send a terminally ill person the same things you might send someone who had their appendix out. So do some thinking and then send a heartfelt note with your beautiful basket. Your gift will make someone smile, for sure.

If someone has just sent over a new client to your business, chances are you’re thrilled. You want to thank your business associate for the referral, but may not know how to do it. What’s appropriate? Should you send just a note? Is that too little?

It’s never a bad idea to say thank you in a number of ways. You may have thanked your colleague on the phone or in person, but another good way is to send a gift basket along with a note.

You need not go overboard. Depending on the situation, you’ll want to decide just how much to spend. If you can afford to do more, do it. But if you are just a start-up business with little working cash, it’s ok to go small and elegant.

What do you put in a thank you gift basket to a business associate? Think about the recipient. How do you know him or her? Is it purely business, or do you also know them from socializing outside of work?

If you know the recipient’s personal interests, tailor the basket contents to them. If he’s an avid golfer, include golf balls, a new set of golf gloves, tees and maybe a gift certificate to a meal at his country club. If she’s a high-level executive, give her a spa basket to relax with. Include a gift certificate to a spa for a manicure and massage. Include a terrycloth headband, face mask or nice soaps. You can include high-end items, but be sure not to get too personal. It’s all in the way you present it. If it looks like you just flung some items together, it may seem inappropriate. But if your gift looks like it came from another business, then it’s perfectly acceptable.

Remember, business people have personal lives too. So they love to receive items that are fun and perhaps they can share with their families. That’s when a tin of popcorn and some of the latest DVDs or a coupon for rentals is fine. If you know they have young children, tailor the gift to what they might enjoy doing as well like passes to a zoo. It will show you care about their family life as well as your work relationship.

Err on the side of caution. Anything liquor related should be left out as well as cigars or anything that could be considered in poor taste. This is not the time for gag gifts or off-color humor. Think high-end. If you’re at all uncertain, ask a store clerk to help you select items that are appropriate for business people and have her make the basket for you.

Order baskets premade online to be sure that you are selecting items that are meant to go together. Online gift basket sites have already done the work of collecting all the items for you. Select by category like coffee, candy, etc. It’s much easier to narrow your choice down and then just hit send than to run around looking for the contents yourself.

Be sure to include a sincere thank you note on nice stationery in your own handwriting. This is not the time to use a printer. Be short and sweet about it.