AA Gifts & Baskets Idea & Advice Blog

Traveling with infants and young children may not be a formidable task, though any trip-even across town-requires common sense, planning, and organization.  You must always keep three important factors in mind, the child’s safety, physical comfort, and contentment.

Safety Restraints

Even before the baby’s birth, parents should buy a quality child safety restraint for use in the family car.  Several good models are on the market, but each of them must be installed properly to be effective.

Beginning with baby’s first trip home, develop the habit of using the safety restraint each time the child rides in the car regardless of the distance involved.  Under no circumstances should any child be allowed to ride” loose;” the lap of an adult passenger is an especially dangerous place for a baby or young child.

Planning Your Trip

When including your baby in major traveling, begin planning for your trip several weeks before departure.  Tell your pediatrician about it and ask his advice.  A few doctors do restrict infant travel.

If you will be traveling by commercial carrier-plane, train, or bus-ask the ticket agent about infant passengers and special services.  One domestic airline, for example, requires a doctor’s written consent before it will transport an infant under seven days old.  Most carriers need advance notice to supply children’s meals and provide bassinets for use on route.

Prepare separate lists-the things you will need for the baby during the trip, the things you will want at your destination, the things you might like to have easily accessible [in the trunk of your car, for example, if you’re planning to drive.  Then organize your packing according to your lists, using a lightweight carry-along bag for traveling, and a separate suitcase for the rest of the baby’s things.

Gather the necessary items in a single spot so that they will not be forgotten.  As you locate and pack each item, check it off the appropriate list and take the list with you-they perform admirably for the return trip too.

What to Pack

What you take with you is mostly a matter of common sense; it depends primarily on the age of your child and your mode of transportation.

Formula can be refrigerated in insulated coolers packed with ice, although commercial carriers frequently have refrigerator space for a bottle or two.  If necessary, you can warm bottles under a hot water faucet.

Traveling is infinitely easier since the advent of disposable diapers.  Even if you use washable ones at home, consider taking throwaways with you on the trip.  You need only take a few since the supply can be replenished readily while traveling and after you arrive at your destination.  Disposable diapers eliminate the problem of storing soiled ones.  Soiled washable diapers should be rinsed out in a restroom before being stowed in a plastic bag until laundry facilities are available.

Dress your youngster in loose, comfortable clothing suitable to the particular travel environment; if the vehicle is air-conditioned, take along a sweater or lightweight blanket for the child’s comfort.

Facial tissues are “musts” when traveling with young children.  Commercially packaged, moistened towels are handy, but you can also carry washcloths in a plastic bag.

A plastic trash bag functions well as a laundry bag, and a plastic sheet protects beds from accidents, but be sure to place the plastic under the bed-sheet to avoid the danger of suffocation.  Take a large bed-sheet with you-it provides a clean, instant play area on a motel floor or on a bed or even on a grassy area by the side of the road. 

It is never to early to introduce books and reading to babies.

Reading aloud to your baby is a remarkable way of fostering brain development and important in the development of language skills.

Reading to your child is the most valuable thing you can do and babies benefit immensely. Not only does it help develop baby’s eye muscles through focusing on pictures but it helps to encourage language skills. Each and every baby learns by sight, sound and feeling. When a baby sees, hears or feels anything, brain connections form and eventually create a piece of knowledge.

Babies first learn words by association with objects and pictures, which help them to understand the world around them. Eventually these associations are developed into language skills, where they begin sounding out the word. Language skills then develop into a way of which a baby can communicate with their parents and others around them.

As your baby grows into a toddler there are many other benefits that reading provides, such as:

• Reading aloud helps your child to learn new words, associations and language skills.
• Reading aloud to children helps them to learn and understand about the world around them and events and situations that do occur in everyday life.
• Reading aloud to children helps them to develop their creativity and imagination.
• Reading aloud to children helps them to learn about values and moral concepts, such as honesty, sharing and teaches them right from wrong.
• Reading aloud to children is calming and soothing and is a fantastic way to bond with your child.

The benefits of reading to your baby and child are endless!

Establish a daily routine and read to your child. Life can never be too busy to set aside some reading time to your child and the rewards your child will reap are infinite!

Introduce the new baby in your life with a world of words and pictures with a wonderful baby book basket. The new baby will be delighted and the joy derived from books will provide countless hours of learning and pleasure.

Start reading to your baby today!

Whenever your child is ill, your observations of what’s going on are very important. When you are assessing your child’s illness, you’re really looking at two different things-signs and symptoms. These terms have specific meanings to your doctor.

A symptom is something a patient complains about. A sign is something the doctor [or you] can see, measure, hear, taste or smell. So, if your child complains of her ear hurting, that’s a symptom; if she’s pulling on her ear, that’s a sign. Signs and symptoms are indications of illness, but they are not illnesses themselves. When your doctor treats your child, he or she may treat the signs and symptoms of the illness, the illness itself, or both. For example, aspirin or acetaminophen is frequently given to a child with a fever, either may reduce the fever, but neither affects the underlying illness causing the fever. However, an antibiotic given to your child when he has an ear infection, actually helps the body to fight off the infection and, so, is treating the illness. The earache [a symptom] and the fever [a sign] will go away because the infection [the illness] is being treated. Most of the medicines you can buy in the drugstore without a prescription treat symptoms but doesn’t treat the illness itself. So the “cold” medicine you may buy for your child doesn’t make the cold go away any more quickly, but they may make your child feel a little better. There’s an ongoing debate about treating signs and symptoms of common illnesses. Some doctors believe that unless the signs and symptoms are severe, you’re better off not treating them. Some of the symptoms of an illness may actually be beneficial and speed recovery. Every medicine has side effects, and sometimes these can be worse than the illness itself.

By making a last will and testament, you are getting the final word on who gets what part of your estate, and, more importantly, who will care for your child when you are gone.  Though a will is a valuable document, people often procrastinate about putting one together.  It’s easy to put off making a will because it isn’t a pleasant pursuit for most people.  But for parents, a will is, at the least, peace of mind insurance.

A common misconception about wills is that they’re only for wealthy people.  Because jointly owned real estate, bank accounts, life insurance benefits, and pension proceeds are typically not covered under a will; many people believe that a will is not necessary if they don’t have extensive personal property.  But from a parent’s point of view, the most important aspect of a will is the designation of a guardian in the event both parents die at the same time.  Maybe you don’t really care how your personal property is divided up, but you do care about how your child is reared.

Therefore, discussions about the person or persons best suited to raise your child, is important.  Do you want someone who knows your child well, who has similar values and religious beliefs?  Take into consideration the age of the potential guardians and their interest in taking on responsibility of a child.  This is important; if they feel they wouldn’t be good parent substitutes, consider someone else.  It is imperative to discuss everything with the guardians you have in mind.

Another question is guardian of the person versus guardian of the property.  The person who will watch over your child does not necessarily have to be the one who will take care of your financial needs.  Of course, one person can do both, but if you have a relative who you feel would be a wonderful substitute for you and your spouse, but not equipped to manage the child’s property, you can name both a guardian for the person and one for the property.

You will also have to name an executor [male] or executrix [female] of your will.  That person is responsible for gathering together your assets, pay any outstanding bills, paying the death taxes, and then distributing whatever assets remain, according to the specifications of the will.  Your executor can be a relative, friend, attorney, or an institution such as a bank or a trust company.  Some people choose an individual and an institution, in order to have the personal approach of a trusted friend and the knowledge of an organization.  Either way, trustworthiness, reliability, and organization are attributes your executor should possess.

Although state laws vary, some common principles apply regardless of where you live.  Though there’s no law that says you must have a lawyer draw up your will, if you want to make sure you have a valid will, hire a competent attorney who is familiar with state law and, to some degree with applicable federal and state estate tax laws.

The written document prepared by your lawyer must be signed by you in the presence of two [or sometimes three] witnesses, although many states allow you to verbally state to the witnesses that you have previously signed the will.  The witnesses should not be persons who are beneficiaries under the will.

Two of the most important requirements in making your will valid are that you tell the witnesses the document they are signing is in fact your will [not just some random legal document] and that each witness sign the will at your specific request.  This may sound quirky, but the failure to observe these requirements has led to the invalidation of many wills.

The original will should be kept in a safe place, but not in a safe-deposit box, since these are often sealed upon notice of death.Your planning will go a long way toward creating a happy and successful future for your children.  But don’t fall so in love with your plans that you never review or change them.  Remember to be flexible; if your financial outlook has changed, perhaps some of your plans should change as well. 

Two of my best friends, Amanda and Brian, are tying the knot in less than two weeks. I couldn’t be happier for them. They love each other very much and probably are going to have a million babies. Maybe more.

In the midst of all the hype and jitters surrounding the wedding preparations, I’ve been able to share a lot of marital advice with Amanda when she wanted it-heck, I even gave her some when she didn’t want it, for that matter. I’m like that.

For the record, Amanda was raised Lutheran. Brian, on the other hand, has been a practicing Mormon for almost a decade. Now, also for the record, they could believe lizards were the key to the universe and I would respect their right to their own religion. Nevertheless, things got really awkward when the subject of religion and kids came up in one of my well-meaning rants.

Since I knew that the Lutheran doctrine and the Mormon doctrine are quite different (even contradictory), I asked Amanda if she and Brian were going to raise their kids Lutheran, Mormon, or Religion-Not-Otherwise-Specified-Chosen-By-the-Child. Amanda said that she and Brian, despite the fact the wedding is drawing nearer, never once have discussed the issue. She said it wasn’t important right now and that they’d cross that bridge when they came to it.

Ding, ding, ding, ding.

I can’t tell you how many bells and whistles went off in my head after hearing that statement. Certainly, not everything has to be concrete between a husband and wife when they step up to the altar. Still, I couldn’t help but feel a little anxious.

The truth is, religion impacts kids from the moment they are born. Will they be baptized? Circumcised? Will they put up a Christmas tree? Will they say grace before they eat? What will they eat? Will they say prayers before they are tucked into bed? Will they be allowed to go on an Easter egg hunt? What about being able to participate in the annual “holiday” concert (can’t call it a Christmas concert-have to be politically correct now) with all those carols about baby Jesus? Will they have a coming of age ceremony and party? What about Sunday school?

All that being said, I’m not promoting any one religion. What I am promoting is that parents come to an agreement early on about what their children will be taught in terms of faith, because the impacts on family life from religion are enormous, not to mention long-reaching. I had a friend in high school, for example, whose father was Lutheran and whose mother was Catholic-she had to attend multiple services every Sunday and was really torn between the differing doctrines, and her mother just about had a heart attack when she got older and decided to not go to the Catholic service anymore.

It’s not impossible to expose your child to multiple doctrines in a healthy way, but children in multi-doctrine homes may have to flip flop from one doctrine to the other several times over before they really settle on their own beliefs, which may be difficult. Therefore, parents need to make an effort to explain clearly to their child why those differences in doctrine exist so that the child can decide more easily for himself what he is going to believe.

We always try to encourage our children. What kind of parent would we seem if we took a different approach and discouraged them? As strange as it may seem I have found myself lately in a dilemma of not knowing which is the right thing to do.

My son joined the Army Reserves, Infantry Division with the Princess Louise Fusiliers in October of 2004. The following summer while he was in C.F.B. Gagetown doing his Soldier’s Qualification and Infantry Training Courses I received a call from him telling me that he had put his name down to volunteer to go to Afghanistan. My first reaction was panic, was he absolutely crazy? Did he realize what he was doing? I calmed down and thinking more rationally realized that he had only joined reserves nine months previously, had only the most basic of courses under his belt and was only 19 years old, they surely would not choose him to go. Over the next months, I did not worry about this too much, however that was soon about to change.

On a Thursday evening of April this spring my son went to his regular Reserve evening I was at home relaxing and watching television, a call from the Armories where he works came in, “Mom, my D.A.G. papers are green, I’m going to Afghanistan!”, you could practically hear this kid jumping around in his combat boots. I cannot describe what I felt at that moment as I could hear the excitement in his voice and I knew that this was something that he had wanted and I was happy for him but at the same time my heart dropped. I really did not know what to do with this information, my brain was thrilled for him, very proud that he was doing a job that the Military thought he was qualified enough to do, very proud that he wanted to help the people of Afghanistan, very impressed at this brave child I had raised in the past nineteen years, but, at the same time I am his mother and my heart said differently. This is my child, how can I possibly be excited or thrilled that he was going into harm’s way, how could I possibly encourage him when I was scared too death for him?

May 1st was creeping forward, that was the day he was to be at the Battle School in Aldershot, Nova Scotia to begin his Task Force Training for Afghanistan, the previous weeks were a blur of getting all his kit list together, shopping for what he would need, making his bill payment arrangements, getting vaccinations up to date, etc. The next seven months he would be training, training hard and it would leave no down time for him for him to do any of these things. About a week and a half before he was due to go we were sitting one evening and he turned to me and told me that he did not think that he could do it. Talking with him I learned that his concerns were not about going or being in Afghanistan but were the first phase of the course which was the physical fitness end, he didn’t think he was good enough as they would be setting the standards high. I told him that he would do just fine, this is what he wanted and that he had the drive and determination to get through it. If he quit before he started he would always wonder if he could do it, to go and try his best, not to set the goal as Afghanistan but to set the goal as to getting past each phase of the training. A word of encouragement, that’s what I’m supposed to do is it not?

The next months were busy for him but difficult for me, he was training in everything from weapons, specialized battlefield first aid, Afghani language, and so much more. It seemed a lot to deal with in such a limited time period. Coming home some weekends he was telling me what the training involved and it was beginning to become more and more real to me as to what he would be facing. I still kept encouraging him even if he had a really hard week and seemed to be really discouraged himself. During this time the news reports from Afghanistan made it clear that the situation was steadily getting worse, I was now watching Repatriation ceremonies bringing our Soldiers home to Canada in flag draped caskets. I began doubting my encouragement, maybe this was something that I shouldn’t be doing, and after all what if something were to happen to him while he was deployed, would I ever be able to deal with the fact that I gave him that encouragement? That maybe if I hadn’t he would be safe? During this time that I seemed to be struggling with this there was an article in our local newspaper that a mother of one of the reservists also on Task Force with my son had written and she was so discouraging towards her son and what he was doing and I thought” How can you say those things to him, that seems so cruel”. I then realized that as mothers of these young brave men and women about to face something that we cannot possibly comprehend we all have our own ways of dealing with it, there was no right or wrong way.

Towards the end of the summer my son had gotten home on leave from a phase of his training in Wainright, Alberta and I had asked him if he had heard about the latest deaths of our Soldiers, and was he still sure that he still wanted to go. He looked at me and said “Mom, it’s not even about 9/11 anymore”. He didn’t have to say anything else, I understood that it was now about our soldiers losing their lives and the doubts I was having were gone.

Am I still terrified for his safety? Yes.

Do I still wish that our Soldiers were not over there in harm’s way? Yes.

Do I think that our troops should be pulled out as the Canadian polls show? No.

Ask our soldiers what they want, I’ve learned the answer to that and I think they should have our support and encouragement 110%.

It will still be the hardest thing that I ever have to do as a mother, seeing him get on that plane about to fly into some kind of hell that I am certain that he isn’t even sure of yet, but I will now be able to do it with an understanding of why and a pride in my heart that I cannot express in words. Encourage or discourage? There is only one answer to that.

As the days grow shorter and shorter and my nights alone with my thoughts grow ever-so-painstakingly long, my son prepares to leave. I am constantly reminded of the words spoken in the movie Saving Private Ryan in fiction and in life…

Gen. George C. Marshall wrote: My dear Mrs Ryan: It’s with the most profound sense of joy that I write to inform you your son, Private James Ryan, is well and, at this very moment, on his way home from European battlefields. Reports from the front indicate James did his duty in combat with great courage and steadfast dedication, even after he was informed of the tragic loss your family has suffered in this great campaign to rid the world of tyranny and oppression. I take great pleasure in joining the Secretary of War, the men and women of the U.S. Army, and the citizens of a grateful nation in wishing you good health and many years of happiness with James at your side.

Nothing, not even the safe return of a beloved son, can compensate you, or the thousands of other American families, who have suffered great loss in this tragic war. I might share with you some words which have sustained me through long, dark nights of peril, loss, and heartache. And I quote:

“Dear Madam: I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save.

I pray that our heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.

Yours very sincerely and respectfully,

Abraham Lincoln.”

Yours very sincerely and respectfully,

George C. Marshall, General, Chief of Staff

A proud mom of a Princess Louise Fusilier

We’re just back from the dentist, whom I suppose I should now refer to as the orthodontist. It’s ordinarily a pleasant enough place where they go out of the way to make the children comfortable and happy, and neither of my kids ever gives me any trouble about going. That’s a good thing, I suppose, since it looks like we’ll be going more often.

The orthodontist suggested, if I’ve gotten this straight: overtime and/or a second job; instant liquidation of any paper assets; a second mortgage; high-interest, unsecured loans; and begging on the streets when family is fully tapped and declines any further pleading. Oh, and at least a weekend in Vegas with a lucky rabbit’s foot. If all of that goes smoothly, my son will have a winning smile, she said. She also, I’m sure, told us all she would actually do to the boy’s mouth. There was something about expanding his palate, pulling some recalcitrant baby teeth, putting on the braces, etc. The details, I confess, escape me. I guess I was lost in the forest of mounting debt.

Of course I want my gorgeous son to have a winning smile. Still, when he popped off a small piece of front tooth this summer, I declined having a custom-fitted veneer put on. He’s got years of sports and mouth pieces ahead of him before he even hits puberty. Why drop $500 on fixing a corner of tooth, when there’s every chance he’ll have to have it done again, and again, and again-and he really doesn’t care? I’m not sure the orthodontist’s assistant understood my reasoning at the time. I noticed that raised-eyebrow, ‘what kind of low-rent mother are you’ sneer when I said not to bother. It wasn’t enough to guilt me into buying, though, I’m proud to say. We can fix his tooth when he’s done with lacrosse; until then, his winning smile will have to be a little less of a jackpot.

Orthodontia these days, however, is not marketed as cosmetic. It seems that without proper expanding and straightening, my son’s jaw and teeth could cause him all kinds of problems. His maladjusted mouth will lead to universal maladjustment: from head to neck, spine, hips, legs, etc., he will crumple physically and cognitively all the way to psycho-emotional freakshow.

And straight teeth are now guaranteed in the U.S. by constitutional amendment, if I’m not mistaken. At least that’s the impression I got from the orthodontist. Not straightening his teeth would be comparable to keeping him from school, or even cutting off his ears. I’m not sure what guarantees the money for orthodontia, since so far the U.S. government has been a little slow to earmark dental expenses per family. So, I have to take it all up with the insurance company, apparently, which should be a walk in the park. Insurance companies are always so helpful and forthcoming about this type of thing.

But just in case, I’m booking Vegas next month.

 When I was in the fifth grade, the school nurse set aside a special time when she pulled all the girls out of the class. Sequestered in a room without any males (apparently their presence would be detrimental to us females for the next 45 minutes), the school nurse proceeded to show us a video that explained the basics of the female reproductive system. The next week, the boys were given their own video session.

 Too bad half the girls already had started their periods and half the guys were able to demonstrate via jokes a working understanding of what guys were supposed to “do” with girls.
Schools have been teaching sex education in late elementary school for years. The problem is, that just doesn’t cut it anymore-kids are reaching sexual maturity at an earlier and earlier age, and as parents, we need to have a concept of what is affecting the development of our children so that we can be prepared.

First, genetics has some influence over when a child matures. If you’re a woman who was a late bloomer, odds are you’ll have daughters who are, too. The same goes for men-if your voice didn’t drop fully until you were 17, don’t be too anxious if your son is still able to sing alto in choir his freshman year in high school.

Secondly, nutrition plays a role in development in that a child’s body cannot mature sexually if it doesn’t have enough vitamins, minerals, or caloric intake. Girls who don’t eat enough for one reason or another, for example, have been shown to start menses later than girls whose diets are nutritionally sound.
The third factor that affects sexual maturation is weight. Sexual maturation is tied to the body fat ratio (the ratio of body fat to lean muscle tissue)-the body needs fat to carry out the sexual maturation process because energy is used by the body to make reproductive tissues and organs grow. Once a person’s body fat ratio is high enough, their body is able to develop the reproductive organs, regardless of whether or not the person is of “reproductive” age. For this reason, children who are overweight are more likely to develop faster than their thinner counterparts. Thus, it is little wonder that, in a generation experiencing what has been called an “obesity epidemic,” earlier sexual maturity is on the rise.

All this being said, it’s important to point out that every child is different. There is no surefire way to pinpoint when your child will need “the talk.” Even so, it’s best to play it safe and be early instead of late with information. If your 8 year old can figure out how to reach the highest cabinet in the house when you have your back turned, chances are they’ll be able to grasp the puzzle pieces concept with men and women and how that all works, too. Sure, they might be a bit grossed out at first, but I, for one, would much rather have my kid grossed out than freaked out.

Fortunately for me, my parents were both educators and artistic. My father was a drama director, and my mother was a math teacher. Reading was a favorite pastime in our home, and our TV time was limited to PBS and educational programming. We played board games and card games regularly. I spent equal time on the Atari video games as I did with educational electronics of the day such as “Speak & Spell” and “Merlin.” Our board games consisted of “Master Mind” (code-breaking), “Othello” (strategy & planning), and the timeless games of chess and checkers.

Now, as a parent of three young daughters, I strive to provide them with a home environment that encourages problem-solving, literacy and free-thinking. My girls just passed standardized tests with flying colors, being placed in the public school as “gifted” children. Whether or not you subscribe to nature or nurture as the source of our intelligence and personality, there is significant influence from the atmosphere you provide for your child as he/she develops.

The following list of suggestions can prove as learning tools no matter what your budget or your family dynamic:

1. Surround your youngster with books. A child who reads is a child who thinks. It is proven that reading increases skills in spelling, writing, vocabulary and verbal communication. It also opens their minds to new ideas and nurtures the imagination far more than movies or television. Reading to your child also provides a quality time unrivaled by most other activities. A public library card can be a treasured gift for a child to learn to make their own choices for entertainment.
2. Turn off the television. While there are several choices for children’s programming with cable and satellite dishes, the studies are overwhelming to show decreased brain activity when a human being is in front of the “idiot tube.”
3. Play games. A good board game can involve family and friends. They are an inexpensive source of entertainment and learning that encourage strategy, social skills and healthy competition.
4. Go on outings to provide new experiences. Search the internet for one-tank trips to museums, art galleries, community concerts, arts & crafts expositions, nature walks, camping excursions, sporting events and dance recitals. Many free activities for the family can be found in local papers, web sites, and the bulletin boards at the public libraries.
5. Set an example of learning. Do your recreational reading in front of your child. Practice your instrument with him in the room. Practice your fitness routine and invite your daughter to join. Share your experiences when you return from a night at the theatre. Let your child know that all learning experiences are accessible and encouraged.
6. Get involved in your child’s school. Take time to learn what they are learning. Research a paper with them. Enforce a topic from school with a special book, meal, song, discussion or craft. Your excitement about your child’s school work can be contagious.
7. Be the educator over summer break. If your child attends a traditional school year, you have three months to provide alternative learning encounters. This is the time when you can add a personal touch to involve your children in your hobbies and interests, and you can watch them make decisions and pursue what interests them.

As human beings, we naturally grow and learn and develop. But, the love of learning must be acquired. A passion for wanting to know more and wanting to be more is learned from those in our lives who care for us and show us the benefits of stretching our minds, honing our skills, and letting our talents shine.